eggshell daughter
still warm from the enemy
growing
despite her injuries
sustained while the summer's dirt was pressed into her knees

eggshell daughter
you can put your back on me
and rest 
your weight down on my spine
looking up at all the space taken up by the pines


write me fancy little notes
in the color ink of your choice
tell me what you could not say
i will read them in your cracking voice
spitting and licking like the fires around your bed


eggshell daughter
always ever so slowly
befriending the moths and the flies
crushed to learn her softest wound would be hunted and prized


eggshell daughter
pins in her mudslide hair
ankles
submerged in boiling sand
holding organs she hopes will fall out through when she stands


balancing the cutlery
digging nails into the table
while their heads flapping and limbs
lifting with invisible cables
climbing high above the roof that muffles her hideous prayers


and we are mutes in each others arms
only feeling where those cracks in your skin
moist with hate and saliva
tremble like the dickens
when it moves inside you


and if you keep kicking like that
mama's gonna have another one of them pretty little
dresses to stitch up
don't make me wake your sister
so lord help me
my belt still has two more notches


eggshell daughter
chewing her medicine
fingers
all bent in secret codes
watching father as he stumbles round and reloads


eggshell daughter
ride in cream polished cars
past churches and hospitals
with her legs closed tightly hands
folded in the middle
clenching muscles she swore would swell and burst right on through


and we are mutes in each others arms
only feeling where those cracks in your skin
moist with hate and saliva
tremble like the dickens
when it moves inside you


and if you keep kicking like that
mama's gonna have another one of them pretty little
dresses to stitch up
don't make me wake your sister
so lord help me
my belt still has two more notches


eggshell daughter
chasing pollen in fields
under clouds humming to you all day long
the distance and noises are gone
blades of grass glowing bronze
melting and lapping in the currents


and if you find yourself
too alive
drenched in tears
a never blinking eye
that could see all the beautiful space between the stars
too far to hide inside just yet
rest assured
eggshell daughter


and when your body ceases to move
next to me
finally
you will know what we were made for

and she stacked the plates like a good child
placed the glasses lips down like her mother taught
and no stranger to the eyes
and no lover of the disguise

my bicycle sat idle on the lawn
because your parents would be coming home
we watched them greet with their mouths
we ran to your room with our doubts

yes, samantha
it all sounds good in concept
no, samantha
i won't leave it on your doorstep

spill all your dolls onto the soft carpet
look my hands are right where you can see them
remove their dresses and pain
lay them gently on the dried bleach stains

inspected but not nearly reflected
they could laugh too but well they choose not to
the ignorant narrator
can laugh at the cast's fortune later

yes, samantha
that all sounds good in concept
no, samantha
i don't want it where my food's kept

she was okay when i tired of her toys
we took the time and supposed we got on
could have been a cold copy
could have just turned out sloppy

blame is a game for two or more people
but only one gets to create the rules
and who else makes your blood spike?
and who else would it taste like?

yes, samantha
that all sounds good in concept
no, samantha
i don't want it on my doorstep

you've built it so well
so that no one could tell
the pieces were never yours to begin with

pretend i'm older
like you need my shoulder
and i could hold you like you need someone to

you're on the phone
your voice is so clear
and i can almost feel it
your breath on my ear

but you're still unsure
there's no map for this tour
and you'd hate to pack up everything
for another bad trip

just stay for awhile


the wrong directions
made you some connections
your friends didn't need to shove you about

this is what you need
a little time to speed
and maybe even the chance to crash and burn

so close the door
and do what you do
someone somewhere is having a
better time than you

and you're still not sold
it's no time to be bold
because this is serious business
what don't i understand?

just stay for awhile

i'm in trouble
i know it to be true
because i'm trying to hide the fact from you

i think i'm a stranger in this home
why don't you take off your shoes?
then again
i think i'm a bit too comfortable
hanging onto the short end of your fuse

the refrigerator is holding
what's left of what's worth revisiting
then again
the night has barely even started
and i'm looking forward to the morning

your friends are asking me my name
and still i can't remember theirs
god i'd really like to though
oh god it's starting to show

sometimes sociability can be such a tragedy

what's this disappointment on your face?
both my sleeves are clean and white
so maybe
i'm starting to get the hang of it
enjoying a familiar fight

putting me on to get yourself off
there's a chance we're both long overdue
so maybe
we have run out of bad decisions
but i can think of plenty to do

this club is a second rate show
that's why they keep the lights down low
you know the plot and the twist
sloppy moves and lazy fists

everyone loves an instigator
it has to start somewhere
everyone loves a good debater
there's always damage to repair

you can push me a little further
or we can talk about the weather
either way
you're going straight for the jugular
and love is a serial killer

this is the most tolerable pain
listening to you try to explain
either way
taking in the scenery's a strain
and i'm beginning to sound mundane

a whole list of questions i don't want to answer
they ask them all
a missed opportunity to use my manners
makes me feel small

everyone loves an instigator
it has to start somewhere
everyone loves a good debator
there's always damage to repair

sometimes sociability can be such a tragedy

i swear it looked better on paper

i'm in trouble
i know it to be true
because i'm still sitting right here next to you

you didn't choose this life
but you're choosing to live it

a calculated unraveling
you can't help but laugh